Men with pythons wanted for gas station theft
Wait, did someone say pythons?!
No, not those kind of pythons. These kind of pythons….
I guess they couldn’t come up with a stolen Glock.
Employees inside a truck stop on Highway 138 in Denmark, Tennessee, said they felt threatened when at least four people came into the gas station with two pythons.
In surveillance pictures provided by the Madison County Sheriff’s Office, you can see the men holding the snakes and placing them on the counter. They said the men with pythons stole about $400 worth of CBD oil….
Mayur Raval said he and his brother were working at the store at the time, and he was afraid of the snakes.
“They were just waving them around and putting them on the counter,” said Raval. “One person brought in one snake first, and then after that, he brought in another snake. One is white, and one is brown or a mix.”…
….“They pulled their car up to the front of the door,” said Raval. “I think they planned to successfully come here and rob the store. The snake is a weapon, you know,”
The snake is a weapon you know, says Mayur Raval who ought to go back to his country where snakes much larger than those are running loose.
We have a python about that same size, and while he might bite your finger if you jab it at his nose a couple of times, it really isn’t a dangerous snake. Now if the 2Gs had come in with a pair of king cobras, that would have been a little scarier but then again they would be as likely to bite the robbers as the store clerks.
I would have loved to listen in on the planning session when these two idiots decided to take a couple of snakes to a truck stop to steal CBD oil. It would have been like a Michal Corleone war council in it’s devious complexity.
One is white, and one is brown or a mix.…
Noted that you can give a White/brown description of a limbless reptile involved in a crime, but you can’t do that when the perp is a low-IQ burrhead.
Nuthin’ says I’m a good ‘ol boy, born and raised in the Tennessee heartland more than a clerk named Mayur Raval. Get. Out.
Gee!, Arthur, they never fail to disappoint. The performances continue. The black clowns at the Circus. God help us all. Vivamus Paratus: live prepared.
“The snake is a weapon you know.” Yeah, that’s what I always tell the ladies (ba dum tiss).
And come on now, a nigger without a Glock is like a Mexican without a hard on. Who are these fuckin’ amateurs to show up unarmed, to knock over Apu’s Kwikee Mart? Not even our criminals are worth a damn for their intended purpose now. Pathetic.
Every time you think you have witnessed peak nigger stupidity, Arthur goes and teaches you otherwise. As someone who has dealt with Mojave Green rattlesnakes and copperheads, they don’t just let you pick them up and handle them. Mojave Greens are especially mean. I’ve been chased by Mojave Greens. I imagine picking them up would not ameliorate their attitude.
I am no snake expert, but I’m guessing that a poisonous snake would have its attention primarily focused on the person picking it up, thus negating its utility as an attack snake.
I suppose you could just call them the brothas latest squeezes. Well, they’re probably more cooperative and less deadly than your standard sheboon.
That is a righteously astute observation. Especially coming form a…copperhead (whoa! There’s some sort of meta joke here)
You cannot make this stuff up. I don’t even know where to start. Words fail me.
Is there some kind of award for niggerifics like this?
Sounds like a case for Rikki Tikki Tavi.
If only they had countries that would love them to take them in.