You would think the Magnolia State has more than enough aggressive monkeys…
Truckload of ‘aggressive’ research monkeys escape after truck crash in Mississippi; 1 still on the loose
Sounds like a dystopian movie plot.
A truck hauling monkeys from Tulane University in New Orleans flipped on a Mississippi highway, freeing several large, “aggressive” monkeys.
After the wreck, which happened north of Heidelberg, multiple rhesus monkeys escaped into the community, according to the Jasper County Sheriff’s Office.
“The monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans, and they require PPE [personal protective equipment] to handle,” the sheriff’s office wrote in a Facebook post.
The animals carry hepatitis C, herpes and COVID, deputies said.
Aggressive monkeys with sexually transmitted diseases running wild in Mississippi. Also known as every weekend in the Magnolia State.
CDC will get another pandemic one way or another.
How does one even begin to find an aggressive research monkey in Mississippi? Sure, it’s like finding a monkey in a monkeystack. But the research part I mean. Is that like the talented tenth? Do they wear name tags? I’ve only met one and he was nowhere near Mississippi.
The STDs are a nice touch. A little hat tip from the meme gods.
What, no AI-generated depiction of aggressive primates covered in herpes lesions scattering into the suburbs to sweeten the story, Art? I’m disappointed.
$20.00 says these aggressive monkeys are more well behaved than your average nigger.