You would think the Magnolia State has more than enough aggressive monkeys…
Truckload of ‘aggressive’ research monkeys escape after truck crash in Mississippi; 1 still on the loose
Sounds like a dystopian movie plot.
A truck hauling monkeys from Tulane University in New Orleans flipped on a Mississippi highway, freeing several large, “aggressive” monkeys.
After the wreck, which happened north of Heidelberg, multiple rhesus monkeys escaped into the community, according to the Jasper County Sheriff’s Office.
“The monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans, and they require PPE [personal protective equipment] to handle,” the sheriff’s office wrote in a Facebook post.
The animals carry hepatitis C, herpes and COVID, deputies said.
Aggressive monkeys with sexually transmitted diseases running wild in Mississippi. Also known as every weekend in the Magnolia State.
CDC will get another pandemic one way or another.
They have been telling us it is coming, not if but when
How does one even begin to find an aggressive research monkey in Mississippi? Sure, it’s like finding a monkey in a monkeystack. But the research part I mean. Is that like the talented tenth? Do they wear name tags? I’ve only met one and he was nowhere near Mississippi.
The STDs are a nice touch. A little hat tip from the meme gods.
I think they were transporting them which doesn’t sound like a great idea
What, no AI-generated depiction of aggressive primates covered in herpes lesions scattering into the suburbs to sweeten the story, Art? I’m disappointed.
I dropped the ball on that one, I posted it in a hurry as I was heading out the door
$20.00 says these aggressive monkeys are more well behaved than your average nigger.
I was going to comment that excepting their diminutive size, they’d be almost indistinguishable from much of the native population in those parts.
No way I am taking that bet.
Want turbo AIDS? This is how you get turbo AIDS.
Are you suggesting they take “down low” to a new level?
Actually, the virus that leads to AIDS came from monkeys. Do the math.
LoL “Aggressive monkeys” is NOT a new deal…….
Non aggressive deep south monkeys would be newsworthy
Sounds like these monkeys escaped from a facility code named Wildfire. Those familiar with “The Andromeda Strain” will get the reference.
We have had a bioweapon that escaped containment since January 1st, 1863.
Was the truck driver’s surname Singh by any chance?