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Fruits And Veggies

On the lighter side….

First the fruits.

A judge this week sentenced a man to 6 years in prison for distributing cocaine while dressed as a banana in River North. She gave him five more years for a second cocaine distribution charge, which he picked up after a stolen truck he was riding in crashed into the Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Monument in Lakeview while the banana case was pending.

Judge Aleksandra Gillespie ordered Luis Rodriguez, 30, to serve the sentences consecutively.

Rodriguez’s troubles began on October 29, 2022, when a stolen Audi crashed in the 100 block of West Hubbard, and a paramedic told police that they saw a man dressed in a banana costume run from the wreckage.

Rodriguez, wearing a banana costume, returned to the scene while police were present. In his arrest report, officers noted he was “the only person in the area wearing a banana costume.” Police said he tossed a bag containing about $2,500 worth of cocaine shortly before they arrested him.

https://cwbchicago.com/2024/09/man-gets-6-years-for-distributing-cocaine-while-dressed-like-a-banana.html

First, there is a powerful message in that picture. A man named Luis Gonzalez who deals drugs while wearing a banana costume later crashes a stolen car into a monument to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, one of the greatest authors in human history. I wonder how many people that walk past that monument even know who Goethe was? Second, that is some solid police work to figure out their suspect as he was “the only person in the area wearing a banana costume.”. That is some Sherlock Holmes level sleuthing.

Now for the vegetables…

D.C. police are seeking help from the community to identify a man captured on video performing a sex act on himself with a cucumber in the driveway of a home in the city’s Truxton Circle neighborhood near Dunbar High School, according to both a police press release and  police incident report.

“On Friday, September 6, 2024, at approximately 5:00 p.m. the suspect was in the 200 block of N Street, NW.,” the police press release says. “The suspect performed a lewd act in view of the public,” it says. “The suspect then left the scene.”…..

…..The local online publication DC News Now spoke to the homeowner whose security camera video, which she posted on Reddit, shows the man removing a cucumber from what appears to be a lunch box and crouching down and appearing to insert the cucumber in his anus while standing behind the homeowner’s car parked in a driveway…..

….“It was that eye contact that really unsettled me, because it then continues for longer than one would imagine,” DC News Now quotes her as saying. “And of course, then he saves the cucumber for later, so it really leaves one with a lot of questions that no one wants to have on their mind,” she told DC News Now.

She was referring to the video that  shows the suspect placing the cucumber back in his lunchbox before he walks away from the scene carrying the lunch box through an alley next to the driveway where the incident took place.

https://archive.is/1YyZ0

Hey good for him not wasting food!

Damn, I do love me some diversity.

16 Comments

  1. dagobaz

    I need braino to unlearn that, Arthur, perhaps some good single malt might work. Darnit, it’s still too early to daydrink.

  2. Lineman

    He probably put the cucumber back in the grocery store where he stole it from… Might want to wear gloves and do a sniff test before you put fruits and vegetables in your cart if you live around niggers…

  3. saoirse

    Not even the World Lit and Philosophy majors know who Goethe was. Too busy being indoctrinated with trash by niggers, fags, feminists, commies, muds and shitlibs.
    Some of his best quotes:
    “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they’re free”
    “Anyone who tortures animals has no soul. No matter how noble he may look, never trust him”
    “The newspaper writer himself is to really be deplored. He often knows nothing and is often not allowed to say anything”

  4. Exile1981

    Cucumber guy is just loney because his boyfriend is doing time and he can’t get visits. He should have called big mike for help

  5. Bean Dip Tray

    Just the right gear for a banana republic!
    Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables is still the punk magnum opus by the Dead Kennedys from 1980.
    Muh cibil rights turned it into a steaming fourth world turd.
    Sad trombone for statist utopians.
    Nose candy?
    The 1980s called and said Red Army Drug War.

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