How about something a little lighter this morning?
‘Don’t fart in my face again’: Inmate charged with battery over fart noise in cell

Real headline from a real “news” outlet in Indianapolis.
A Marion County inmate faces felony charges after police say he beat up his cellmate who he thought had farted in his face.
Dametric Gaddis, a 33-year-old inmate at the Adult Detention Center in Indy, was charged last month in Marion County Court with battery and criminal confinement. The charges stem from a June fight where a fellow inmate was attacked inside Gaddis’ cell.
I didn’t find a mugshot but according to booking information “Dametric” is of course black.
Officials reviewed surveillance footage from the inmate’s cell and saw video of the victim grabbing a chair and sliding it across the floor to his bunk. When the victim walked past Gaddis, the two got into an “animated and angry” conversation before the victim continued moving the chair.
Gaddis is then reportedly shown standing up from his bed and walking toward the victim, who was now sitting in the chair. The victim told police in an interview that Gaddis was upset about a noise he’d heard when the chair was being moved.
“[The victim] said that when he first started to slide the chair toward his bunk, his sandal made a noise on the floor,” court docs show. “As he passed Gaddis, Gaddis angrily told him not to ‘fart in his face again’.”
The victim said he explained that the noise wasn’t a fart, but rather his sandal. However, police said Gaddis did not buy the story and became very angry.
Police said that the video then showed Gaddis lunging toward the victim and hitting him in the left lower jaw with a closed fist. Then, Gaddis reportedly shoved the victim back into the chair before punching him “numerous” times in the face and head.
Was it really a fart or simply a sandal scraping the floor? We might never know, regardless Dametric took umbrage at the offensive sound and attacked his cellmate. Now he has been charged with additional felony charges for the fart inspired assault on top of the charges he was already in for including auto theft and dealing coke and meth. He better get used to unpleasant roommates.

The ‘victim’ has now received diet counseling and will only eat hog maws and purple drank in the weight yard.
Any further gaseous incidents will be dealt with (i.e. blocked) in the showers, in the usual manner!
Flip it around.
Instead, all the inmates need more beans, broccoli, and other gas-inducing foods under the premise that those foods are “good for them”.
Blaqqs love dem some stank. Between the overpowering smell of the females’ perfumes and their natural unwashed rank funk, it’s a wonder that a mere fart could be detected. They be raisin’ such a loud stench, a man needs earplugs, yo.
You forgot the stench of weed floating around them, where they lingered, in the parking lots, etc.
In prison, this is considered Flirting.
Pig W can vouch for our gassiness as youngsters. I recall lifting our legs on those old wooden, one piece desks back in the day and rattling the room at the school house.
Fast forward to being an old fucker who doesn’t much care for being in public, particularly around niggers, it’s an asset and still provides lots of fun moments.
Crop dusting a Dollar Tree aisle is amusing and fun to watch people’s disgust when walking through it.
But when that right, sweet opportunity presents itself………the rude person of color………and you loudly and unashamedly shit yourself at Walmart or elsewhere. They look at you in outrage and you simply look back expressionless.
“Adult Detention Center”. Sounds so High Schoolish, like they aren’t serious or even trying.
I was going to try and make some joke about dametric system, but I’m many kilometers away from anything remotely amusing. I do wonder how many newton-meters of force is exerted by a fart being expelled from a sphincter? The only airgas pressure gauge I have sitting about has a 3/8″ NPT inlet, so that’s no good.
Speaking of farts, I taught my 4 year old Grandson how to “dutch oven” his little sister.
Which socket set?
Da metric.
Welly, welly, well, great Bolshy flatulence to thee and thine.
I let ’em rip in the Sack-N-Save and walk off wildly amused.
Enjoy comrades of the New Civility hive collective.
Yes we can!