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Ghetto Don Juan

Don Juan was a fictional character in a 17th century play written by the Spaniard Tirso de Molina. The name has become synonymous with being a womanizer and libertine. Don Juan was the 17th century equivalent of the modern “pick-up artists” except the fictional Don Juan actually scores with chicks instead of just bragging about his “game” on social media.

Not to be outdone by some dirty Spaniard, Indiana has our own ghetto version….

IMPD: Armed robbery investigation leads to arrest of 18-year-old

 An Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department armed robbery investigation led to the arrest of an 18-year-old this week.

According to an IMPD Facebook post, officers responded to the 9000 block of Meadowlark Drive around 2 p.m. on Thursday to investigate a reported armed robbery.

During their investigation, officers spoke with a victim who provided a description of a suspect. Police later realized they had seen an individual matching the description when they arrived at the scene.

IMPD reported that its officers then left the area to try to find the suspect. Police later found and detained 18-year-old Donwan Townsley.

Donwan. Seriously, that has to be some lame attempt at making Don Juan a nigra name. Points for knowing Don Juan I guess. Our libertine had in his possession a Glock, no doubt stolen, with an FDE mag in a standard blue pistol and also this monstrosity.

Gaudy skelentonized grip? Check. Matching buffer tube? Check. 40 round PMAG? Check. No stock? Check. Some ghetto looking thing on top, I am not even sure if that is an optic or a laser or what? Check.

The 18 year old is already an accomplished criminal:

Townsley was already wanted on an outstanding robbery warrant, per IMPD. Police considered Townsley a serious violent felon because of he had a previous robbery conviction on his record.

So he just committed an armed robbery, has an outstanding warrant for a different robbery and already has a felony conviction for a third robbery on his record and again he is only 18. What does his juvenile record look like? In looking him up, I came across an interesting story….

Man pleads guilty in 2014 rape of IU student, to be sentenced in February

A man was arrested and charged with rape after police say he attacked an Indiana University student in her Bloomington home.

Donwan Townsley, 26, was arrested Sunday for the August 2014 rape.

According to the Indiana Daily Student, Townsley broke into the woman’s home while she was sleeping, and assaulted her in bed. She woke up to him performing sex acts and attempting to have sex with her.

This is a 2015 story, so 9 years ago, and this Donwan Townsley was 26 at the time making him 35 now. What are the chances that this Donwan at 35 is the father of 18 year old Donwan? You know what they say, like father like son even when the father is in prison.

I signed up for a month of Midjourney and made a monkey Don Juan, I like the way it came out but I will see how heavily censored it is compared to Bing.


  1. Berglander

    It looks like a Streamlight TLR-1 or clone up top.
    Well, it honestly makes me feel better knowing it isn’t zeroed

    • Max Wiley

      He only needs a flashlight anyway, doesn’t need any sights or even a stock because we all know gangbangers don’t aim. They are amazingly like the Muzzies in that regard, just blaze away in the general direction and.. In’Shallah.

  2. Anonymous

    Guess mama couldn’t spell Dong Juan and just gave it her best shot. Why not just name your doomed sprogs “Fellowny”, “Larcenus” and “D’Tention”?

    • Max Wiley

      Between your comment and the previous post about libraries, I am reminded of my time as a teenager working at the local public library as my first job, putting books back on the shelf.
      We had a single mother welfare qween (but I repeat myself) that came in regularly with her two children in tow, “Chance” was the boy and “Mystique” was the girl.
      True story.
      Regardless of how badly you have effed up your own life, who would do that to their children?

        • Max Wiley

          “Chance” and “Mystique” (mistake). It’s worse than even a stripper name. When the children get old enough their names tell them they were unimportant and unwanted (except as welfare income).
          I find that despicable on a whole other level from just basic savagery.

          • Phil B

            There is the joke about the single mother going into the Social Security office to claim benefits.

            “How many children do you have?”


            The clerk sighs and reaches for the appropriate forms.

            “OK, what are hteir names?”

            “Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne”

            “Wait? What? You have eight children all with the same first name? Isn’t that confusing?”

            “No. it saves time. All I need to do is shout ‘Wayne, time for bed’ or ‘Wayne, go to school'”.

            “But what if you want to refer to them individually?”

            “Oh, I just use their surnames …”

            I suppose I should say “Guess the race” but sending them to school might confuse the issue.

  3. ghostsniper

    Empathize with the birthing assistant on hand for s/he has to figure how how to take female negro sounds and translate them into readable english language.

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