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Perhaps In Poor Taste

But I am feeling under the weather and the filter is not working properly.

Against my better judgment, the wife raises rats. Like breeds them on purpose, in a cage. The reason for this is that a couple of our children have pet snakes and she raises the little rats to feed to the snakes. Generally not alive as there is a chance of the rat fighting back and injuring the snakes so she set up a little plastic box and has it hooked to a tank of carbon dioxide. Put the little rats in, seal the lid, turn the knob and they die pretty quickly. She used to use dry ice which is frozen CO2 but this is a lot faster and handier. This leads to vacuum sealed dead rats in my freezer, kind of weird but whatever.

Yesterday was April 20th and to a lot of people it is Pot Day or whatever pot smoking losers call it. April 20th is also the birthday of a famous Austrian war hero and painter, the O.G. Moustache Man Bad, Adolph Hitler.

So last night my wife tells me that before we head to bed, she needs to kill off the latest batch of baby rats before they get too big. So I say….

Hang on, you are going to put a bunch of rats into a gas chamber? On Adolph Hitler’s birthday?

We both laughed and then she gassed them. I still want to put a little sign that says “Arbeit Macht Frei” on the killing box but she thinks that might be a little too much.


  1. 3g4me

    Ugh. Even dead and packaged – rats in your freezer? My older son had a pet snake (amelanistic corn snake). I used to go to the pet store and buy a mouse for it to eat a few times a week. They’d kill it for me (swing it by the tail and whack the head against something) and put it in a little brown paper bag. Still grossed me out bringing it home.

    He also had lizards for a time – various ones purchased, plus ghekkos caught outside. I had to go to the pet store to buy them crickets to eat.

    Did I mention I hate rodents and bugs?

    What mothers do for their kids . . .

  2. Anonymous

    That’s hilarious. Did you and Eva Braun goosestep on your way to bed after gassing your little rodent friends?

    “Be right with you. I’ve got something in the oven.”

  3. saoirse

    Nice segue, from “reckoning” to “gas chambers”. I think you might be on to something.
    Happy birthday (I toasted it yesterday) to the only leader that put his race and people before everything else!
    The vermin that curse you curse themselves and their progeny a thousand fold!

  4. ghostsniper

    20 APR will always be, for me, the anniversary of (49 years so far) the night I became a disabled vet in a parachute fall close to Hanau, Germany.

    When our son was 10 he had a 3 foot long Iguana named Spike but it only ate spoiled fruits and it was messy about it.

  5. Bean Dip Tray

    Before Red State cracked down we would use the baby mice and place them in the tank already KIA, Skink Lizards would also work.
    Watching the red eyed Albino Cobra lunch on them was amazing, by far the most beautiful and dangerous animal I’ve ever seen.
    The Emperor Scorpions would battle to the death if placed in the same enclosure.
    Manboons are a part of nature and not outside of it and Lay Nature operates at the side of God.
    We cannot coexist with the comrades and were never meant to.

  6. Jen

    Dau was taking care of her collection, and I overheard my horrified mother in law say she’d “never stay in a house with snakes!”

    I kept the snakes for many years after dau left for college…


    Hilarious! I used to work with a (((fella))) and him and his (((wife))) were doing a kitchen remodel.

    They were having a moral dilemma on purchasing a premium gas oven made by some German manufacturer because they were involved in making the luxury walk-in ovens to accommodate a couple of dozen or so folk.

    I think they got past their morality and opted for the German-made oven.

    • Berglander

      Because they know that there were never any walk-in ovens. Of course they’ll still claim they survived Dachau even though they were born in 1970 in New Jersey…

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