Around 3 PM EST today the total solar eclipse will be passing just south of us I have been reliably informed that all life as we know it will likely end at that time. If so, it has been an honor serving my fellow dissidents. Or maybe it will get dark for a few minutes. IDK.
If we don’t all die, I will be back being racist/antisemitic/transphobic later today or tomorrow.
Out West we’re getting only 30-something percent occlusion so we’ll get kinda sick, maybe.
All life as we know it will likely end, women and minorities hit hardest.
Eclipses are a construct of the white male patriarchy and all sunlight will be redistributed for the good of the collective.
The terribly oppressed in $200 Air Jordans and holding an $800 cellphone with a fully charged EBT card will be disenfranchised as the oppressive sun withholds light.
Forward!
Si se puede!
The ECLIPOCALYPSE is coming!!!
Got a crowd of (maybe) hundreds flocking to our central Texas town. We’re dead center of the “PATH OF TOTALITY”. Gotta put that in all caps with scare quotes.
Sister thinks I just have to watch the whole thing. Whatever, not sitting around staring at the sky for hours when a the good part lasts about 4 minutes or so.
Mostly cloudy anyway
So an eclipse is like sex, the good part lasts 4 minutes? Who knew.
there’s a bad part?
Pretty much the rest of your life, according to the Meatloaf song.
Touché, that was well played. Funny too that I just heard Paradise b y the Dashboard Lights on the radio the other day.
And the 4 minutes includes the time to eat the Pizza afterwards … Ahem!
When the totality happens it will open an inter-dimensional wormhole and hordes of aliens will pour through in their spaceships to come and harvest the planet. And about damn time too.
I for one, welcome our new alien overlords.
I remember the July 20, 1963 solar eclipse. There wasn’t anywhere near the hype that we’re experiencing in 2024. Back then, nobody really gave a shit. It occurred on a Saturday afternoon about 5:00 p.m. I’d say most people were grilling out & experienced just a little inconvenience as the sky turned dark for a few moments. Then back to eating & a drinking. No doubt, a few people got their jollies out of it. Other than that, no big fucking deal. Just think, about 4 months later, President Kennedy got plugged in time for the holidays. Also, 6 years to the date, man landed on the moon, or supposedly did. Who knows? One thing for sure, everything is more fucked up now than it was back in ’63.
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – MASS HYSTERIA!
Who ya gonna call?
Big Country Expat, that’s who. Because he has the tools, he has the talent, it’s Miller Time!
Here in Helmsburg, Brown County, IN the total insanity is over the top. 3:04-3:10 is when total destruction will occur.
Here in my AO, we were over 90% of totality. Got about dusk like, and the birds were mildly freaked out. I was underwhelmed, I prefer my eclipse so black it shoots up a mall (ba dum tiss).
Call me when Jesus shows up and starts smiting all the evil muthafuckas. Then I’ll get excited.
We slaughtered a red heifer and barbecued it on an altar and celebrated with our (((friends))).
Don’t worry guys…
I sacrificed a rack of ribs to ensure the return of the sun God.
No need to thank me.
BTW…the eclipse was pretty spectacular
I remember the movie Night of the comet, I’m staying in the steel shed playing Tempest and loading Uzi mags till it’s over.
Our area had less than 10% coverage, the local school kept kids in so they wouldn’t stare at the sun.
HO GAWUD I WAS JUST RUNNING MY INNOCENT CHILD/MIDGET DONKEY PORN SHIP WHEN THE WHITE SUPREMACIST SUN DID SOME ANTISEMITISMS OY VEY IT WAS ANNUDDAH SHOAH!!!!