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Holy Guacamole!

Again I will ask, what is with them and fast food?

A furious Chipotle customer has been arrested for allegedly shooting a staff member in the knee for not giving him a big enough serving of guacamole

Adam Brown, 32, calmly picked up his bag of food and walked away after firing at the 21-year-old employee on Friday, according to Detroit police.

The Chipotle was unfortunately located across the street from the Southfield Police Headquarters. 

Minutes after the shooting took place, cops pulled over Brown’s vehicle. Video footage of the shooting and the arrest was captured by an officer’s bodycam.

The suspect was arraigned and charged with assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder, discharging a weapon in or at a building causing injury, and two counts of possession of a firearm in the commission of a felony on Sunday.

Across the street from the police station. We have us a criminal mastermind at work. Here is Adam Brown in case you wondered…

I am not a guacamole guy, it looks like baby poop to me and is utterly unappetizing. Nor am I a big fan of Chipotle. Ol’ Adam here apparently thinks it is worth shooting someone in the knee over.

Actually it is just another example of a black guy feeling disrespected because in their bizarre honor cult if you don’t get enough guacamole it is the same thing as being called a nigger. Any slight, real or imagined, might be enough to set one off on an epic chimp-out.

It is going to be a day chock full of monkeyshines here at Dissident Thoughts, lots on tap!


  1. Bean Dip Tray

    I saw one where the youts were playing cash & dice Russian Roulette with de feets and one is ready to stop, the other challenges him, booom goes the toes and much wailing and gnashing.
    It looked like a snubby .357 the true proven one shot stopper due to the 500+ FPE and high muzzle velocity.
    Who thought it was great idea to outsource farm equipment?
    Do they have headgear that isn’t finished yet? (wink)

  2. Big Ruckus D

    I”m right there with you on guac, can’t stand the stuff. Don’t like avocados in any form, really. And I refer to the place as ChipotlE-Coli. Nasty shit prepped by staff I wouldn’t hire to pick up dogshit in the yard.


    You’ll have to admit it was a nicely placed shot, considering it was a jogger.

    It reminds me of the Dave Chappelle sketch when they were playing dice and a coon project. One chimp shot the other chimp in the leg, thus avoiding attempted murder charges.

      • Big Ruckus D

        Ashy Larry and the World Championship of Dice! I have to admit, Chapelle was/is one uproariously funny brotha. I still marvel that his show ever got on the air, given the material. Damn sure couldn’t do that show now.

  4. ghostsniper

    Flip it around, look at it from the other end.
    Who hasn’t been pissed at a fast food joint?
    Now, how many of us has pulled a gatt and lit the place up?
    That’s the diff between us and them.
    They never think of the consequences.
    It never enters their emotional childlike savage minds.
    Normal people might want to shoot a MF but they also know they will go to the klink, so they don’t do it.

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