Menu Close

An Actual Kang

Just a week ago I wrote about the new super strict juvenile curfew in Indianapolis that the Indianapolis police weren’t going to enforce: We Wuz Peez-A-Blee Azzemblin’ And Sheeiit!. This came in the wake of a mass shooting were 7 urban yoofs were wounded. Shockingly, the Indy Metro Police made and arrest and the suspect’s name?

King Dennis

That is actually his name. Skipped right over the goofy name and went straight to King.

The Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department made an arrest related to the late March incident that led to seven juveniles being shot in downtown Indianapolis.

On April 5, IMPD arrested a 17-year-old for two counts of criminal recklessness, one a Level 5 felony and another a Level 6 felony, and one count of dangerous possession of a firearm, a class A misdemeanor, in relation to his alleged role in the March 30 shooting.

The Marion County Prosecutor’s Office identified the person as 17-year-old King Dennis. The office is expected to make the final charging decision in this matter.

Here is the bizaare logic that Da Kang used to explain his shootin’.

In an interview with police, Dennis reportedly admitted he was the person who was seen in the video shooting a firearm. Dennis said he was walking downtown when he came upon a large group of people. When a fight occurred, Dennis and the group he was with tried to move away from the incident when they heard and saw people shooting guns.

“(Dennis) stated he didn’t believe the people were targeting him,” the documents read, “but also stated that he believed they were shooting in his direction.”

The documents said that Dennis then ran toward the Sugar Factory, a restaurant in Circle Centre Mall that the shooting occurred near. Dennis then reportedly drew his pistol and fired two shots.

“(Dennis) stated he wasn’t aiming at anyone but had seen some movies and knew that… if he shot at people shooting at him, he could give his friends time to get to safety,” the documents read.


Dey waznt shootin’ at me but I shot at dem cuz my peeps needed cover to get away? To be fair, when chimps start chimping out, bullets can go anywhere and The King wasn’t gonna let no punk-ass bitches shoot his posse and sheeeiit! You can’t make this shit up, no one would believe it.

I am sure this is all a big misunderstanding. His mama came out to ensure us he ain’t no monster, he wuz a gud boy.

Holly Dennis wiped away tears outside the courtroom Wednesday morning after seeing her 17-year-old son, King Dennis, in inmate clothes being tried as an adult.

“He’s not a monster. He’s very smart and intelligent. He’s very respectful,” Holly said. “He didn’t go downtown for no commotion. He went to have a good time.”…

….”The people started shooting first, King let off twice. And that’s when the shooting stopped,” Holly said. “It has nothing to do with King and whoever was down there with him. I can say that. It was something that happened amongst somebody else that we have no knowledge of. All we know is King got caught up in the crossfire by trying to defend himself and get to safety.”

Just there for a good time, but of course he was illegally packing a gun. Also, not the first time her “definitely not a monster” son has run afoul of Johnny law.

The Marion County Prosecutor’s Office said King will be tried as an adult because he has a prior conviction for dangerous possession of a handgun. 

“I feel as though his juvenile past should not affect him,” Holly said.

Holly hasn’t spoken to the victims or their parents, but she said her son was trying to protect the people in the crowd — not hurt them.

“So, it could have been many, many more kids and civilians dead if my son would not let them two bullets off,” Holly said.

Ah, you see The Kang was actually saving lives by “letting them two bullets off”. Shit, dat Kang is a hee-ro and sheeeit! Despite being “very smart and intelligent”, he is on his second felony gun charge and this time is being tried as an adult. Since he admitted the shooting and is on video, this ought to be a slam dunk. Looks like KING DENNIS is heading for the Marion County slammer, as a 17 year old he ought to be immensely popular with the actual bad dudes doing time.

I am not sure why the kang has two nipples on each side


  1. Jeffrey Zoar

    I have also seen negros name their sons Master. And of course we have all seen them name their offspring Prince. And Queenie.

  2. ghostsniper

    Remember when possessing a gun illegally was a felony punishable by a mandatory 10 years in the slammer?

    If that law was enforced and he was prosecuted this incident wouldn’t have happened.

  3. Bean Dip Tray

    Never admit to anything and when asked to speak say lawyer please.
    If a piece of paper and pen is offered throw it in the trash.
    Kangs should know these things, oh wait.
    Too late for downtown with Union Station long ago ruined and the canal walk with St. Patricks day green, it could be the wrong gang color! (s/)
    Look out if that Chicago to Memphis train line gets in.

    • Bear in Indy

      Downtown Indy use to be exceptional. Moved here in 1996 from a small rural town in Kentucky.
      The wife was so amazed at the buildings, the architecture, and all of the amenities: restaurants, shopping, museums, cultural gatherings, events, and the Colts.
      We enjoyed all of these, until we couldn’t, thanks to the “mayor” Joe Hogsett, and his progressive policies.
      Bear in Indy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *