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A Brief Lesson In Biology

This is one of our roosters, a male chicken….

We hatched this handsome fella a year or two ago. He was brooded (raised under a heat lamp until old enough to go outside) with a bunch of ducks. No chickens in that batch. I am not sure if we stuck a chicken egg in incubator with the ducks accidently or what. As a consequence of being raised amidst ducks, this rooster thinks he is a duck.

He hangs around with our ducks, not our chickens (they are all pretty much free ranging). He will not roost up in a tree or on a rod like chickens, he stays on the ground with the ducks. He also is pretty horny and endless pinning female ducks to the ground and humping them. Never banging the chicken hens, just the ducks. Like I said, he thinks he is a duck.

Here is the problem. He is a chicken and will never be a duck. He crows instead of quacking. He doesn’t have webbed feet for swimming. His beak is different than a duck’s bill. Nor will he ever fertilize a duck egg to create a duckling or even a weird duck-chicken hybrid.

I am sure that in his tiny little chicken brain, he very sincerely is convinced that he is a duck.

That doesn’t matter. Just believing something, even to the point of convincing yourself completely of something, doesn’t change biology. A chicken cannot become a duck no matter how much he thinks he is a duck, or acts like a duck. When we decide to lop his head off and eat him, he will taste like a chicken rather than a duck because he is a chicken. If we play along with his delusion and toss him in a pond with the ducks, he would drown. If we prepared him as Duck a l’Orange, he would not taste like duck with orange sauce, he would taste like chicken with orange sauce. A chicken is a chicken and will always be a chicken and never a duck.

You can probably see some contemporary cultural and political parallels in America and the West in general. Just as is the case with birds, human beings cannot change their immutable biological traits no matter how much they want to or how sincere their belief.

Even odder, almost no one would ever look at our chicken and agree with said chicken that he is a duck but many people would look at a man with a 5 o’clock shadow who is wearing make-up and panties and absolute affirm that he is every bit as much a woman as my wife. It is part of the bizarre mind-games that are required to be part of the left, such as charging someone for murder if their actions lead to the death of an unborn child and yet those same people would say that a woman has a “right” to murder that child if she decides to. The inherent humanity of an unborn child is entirely subject to the circumstances. If an unborn child is killed by the actions of another person without the mother’s consent, that is murder but if that same child is killed by another person with the consent of a mother, it is not a human being and the act is not murder. In other words, you don’t absolutely have to be mentally ill to be a leftist but it sure makes it easier.

Our poor confused rooster will never be a duck. A trannie like Richard Levine will never be a woman, even if he wears pantyhose and calls himself Rachel Levine although now that I mention it, Richard Levine does sort of have a beak like a chicken…

It is strange indeed that there is more biological truth in my barnyard than you can find in the most prestigious halls of science in America.


  1. Harbinger

    Interesting experiment you unwittingly conducted there, Dr. Frankensido. And strikingly instructive, assuming that there is much overlap between species as far as forcing an unnatural environment goes. One might even say that creatures who integrate with those not of their own breed tend to develop some rather unorthodox and possibly self-harmful traits, vis-a-vis their natural inclinations and capabilities. Swimming (ex)chickens, indeed.

    If it doesn’t walk like a duck, nor quack like a duck, it ain’t a duck*.

    *Tried to work in a muh duck joke here, but it just isn’t happening.

  2. Big Ruckus D

    Well hell, now we have transpoultry.

    There once was a misguided rooster
    Who thought he was supposed to quack
    And if you told him otherwise,
    his delusion would put him on the attack.
    He had a beak and still made a cluck
    but whenever you’d see him fuck
    it at once became all too apparent
    it was all about “muh duck”

    Harbinger, you’re welcome.

  3. Greg

    Fascinating allegory there Arthur. Konrad Lorenz would be impressed with the imprinting on that rooster. Definitely has a few wires crossed in that itty-bitty bird brain.
    We can learn a lot of crowd psychology just watching a flock of chickens. “Pecking order” is not a figure of speech. They all have a rank, from the buck privates to the senior master sergeant, and woe be it to any of them getting out of line.

  4. 4hawks

    Healthy looking rooster. Maybe he gots da darkwing feva, once you go duck you run amok? Speaking of physically ill, that Admiral Levine though.

  5. Hickocks Ghost

    Years ago my old swamp Yankee friend told me, “You can bake a cat in the oven, but that doesn’t make it a biscuit.”

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