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A Hidden Gem!

Another day, another litany of black crimes, but now and then you find a little hidden nugget of delight lodged in an otherwise boilerplate story of failed impulse control. For example, this story out of Missouri….

Panda Express customer allegedly attacks employee over food quality

A Missouri man has been charged after he allegedly stabbed a Panda Express employee and punched another worker over the quality of his food….

….Phillip Person, 33, reportedly was unhappy with his food and wanted a refund, then allegedly attacked two employees by stabbing one in the lower back and punching a second in the head, according to KSDK.

The suspect left the restaurant in a work truck prior to police finding and arresting him, the local station reported. Police said they found the knife Person allegedly used when they arrested him.

The manager of the Panda Express told the media outlet that Person had already eaten half of his food and did not have a receipt when he demanded a refund, called him and other workers names, and threatened to shoot them. The manager, who did not provide his name to the local station, said Person left after Panda Express replaced his food, but then came back and threw it at them.

They sure take their fast food seriously. I didn’t even have to look at the story to know who would be in the mugshot but I looked at it anyway.

I decided to look a little further to see if I could find video of the altercation, and while I didn’t see that, I did find a news clip where a they interviewed a frequent customer….

…and I had to stop the video and go back to read the transcript to make sure I heard his name correctly.

“Honestly, that’s genuinely crazy that a person would stab someone over some food. I just think it was never that serious to harm someone over the food,” Mystik Stargod, a frequent customer, said.

Mystik Stargod!

That just made my whole day.


  1. Gryphon

    The fact that an apefrican-american was in a Chinese Fast-Food joint is Funny to start with.
    He better hope that the Franchise isn’t owned by someone who knows some local Asian Gang-Bangers…

  2. Anonymous

    Of all the possible miscegenated pairings, I believe that Asian man/black woman is the least common, by orders of magnitude. I can’t even think of a celebrity couple that match this combination. Asians in general have no illusions about sub-Saharan sub-humans, but I do see plenty of blacks up north getting Chinese takeout. I can only hope that Ho Lee Phuk gives their orders the “Jesse Jackson spit-take” treatment.

  3. Bean Dip Tray

    Gettin’ stabby wid it will be the anthem for the glorious egalitarian West South Africa FUSA.
    Si se puede, yes we can! Umm…umm…umm, Chicago Jesus is the one.
    A Shanaynay yass kween said dayam you already gone as I entered grocery in camo puffer wraparound shades and Gandalf beard and I said three sheets to the wind baby.
    O/T-Just read that comrade commissar Brandon (CPUSA/CCP) pledged to shut down 60% of energy plants at globalist shindig.
    We need to plant some more Magic Soil right away.
    Forward, froward to Zimbabwe and beyond.

  4. TechieDude

    Of course. Stabbing and punching people in the head is what one does when you aren’t happy with your food.

    We had a DEI thing in our company awhile back where we had negroes give testimony to the injustices they’ve had to suffer. Keep in mind, this is a high tech company, and these people are paid well. Nearly all the soul brothers complained about bad service at restaurants.

    Forget the fact that some restaurants suck and everyone suffers. I’ve worked with all types over the years, and I’ve never seen anyone type of person more picky and difficult at a restaurant. They are notoriously bad tippers.

    That said, they are also some of the worst to deal with as restaurant employees. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to these places and have been treated with forced politeness, at best. For instance, I went to a chipoltle a few years back, and ordered a carnitas bowl. The soul sister flirtred with the black dude in front of me, and hooked him up big time. Me? She started with maybe at tablespoon of meat. We had words.

    You know what I, a huwhite dood does when I get shitty service or food?

    I don’t go back. Ever.

    BTW – “left in a work truck?”. He had a job at least, it appears.

  5. Scot Irish

    Mystik Stargod a frequent flyer of Panda Express. Geez. That can’t be a real name.

    Although, I remember asking my dad about Mercury Morris back in the day.
    He affirmed that the football players first name was indeed “Mercury”.
    Of course my dad used more colorful language. He’d probably get a kick out of some of the current terms/lexicon.

  6. Xzebek

    I’m pretty sure his name is actually Eugene Morris with Mercury being a nickname becoming a de facto name like Earvin Magic Johnson. Either way, the names are colorful.

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