A couple of scholar-Americans decided to kidnap the manager of a Dunhams sporting goods store in Benton Harbor, Michigan (83% black), made him go with them back to the closed store, had him let them in and then stole more than 120 firearms that they hauled out of the store in two blue Yeti coolers (always keep your guns chilled).
Criminal masterminds that they are, they are on camera opening up their SUV with the guns still in the blue coolers and carried them into their apartment.
The cops arrested two men and recovered all but one of the guns
Two southwest Michigan brothers are facing federal charges for how they acquired two large blue Yeti coolers last Friday.
Inside those coolers, federal investigators found more than 120 stolen firearms. And investigators believe the men kidnapped the store manager at his home and held a gun to his head to get the security code.
According to a criminal complaint filed Monday in the Western District of Michigan, Darnell Bishop and Dontrell Nance are both facing Hobbs Act Robbery, Brandishing a Firearm During and in Relation to a Crime of Violence, Theft of Firearms from a Federally Licensee and Knowingly possessing stolen firearms.
Here dey be…
How did the police know that it was Darnell and Dontrell? That is the WTF part, even for low IQ, no impulse control scholars this is baffling…
During the kidnapping, the manager told investigators one of the suspects tried to use CashApp to send themselves money from the manager’s debit card.
That transaction is how investigators linked the suspects to the crime.
Through bank records, federal authorities found the name “Dontrell Nanc,” and the account’s photo matched Dontrell Nance.
Take it away Drinker….
120 handguns for $500 a piece on the street is $60,000. That is a pretty nice haul, plus a several hundred dollars worth of Yeti coolers (those things are pricey). But that wasn’t good enough, nope these dumbshits decided to try to steal a little more from a Dunhams manager who probably doesn’t have all that much money anyway and it sounds like they didn’t even get the money. They did however leave an electronic trail to follow right to where these idiots had the stolen guns apparently still in the car from their caper the night before.
To cap it off…
Nance also told investigators he put his cellphone in a sock and held that against the blindfolded manger’s head, implying it was a gun.
Ah the old “cellphone in a sock fake gun” trick! That gets them every time!
What is sad is that despite the title of the post, these two are probably smack dab in the middle of the IQ range for Basketball-Americans. Sadder still, they will probably get out of jail in time to commit more crimes in ten years or less.
In order to be a successful criminal, one needs to be slightly smarter than the smartest cop pursuing you. That is why we don’t see many successful chimp criminals. They are generally dumber (barely functional retards) than the dumbest cop pursuing them. That is a societal plus, or would be if we actually locked up these wastes of DNA for a substantial period of time
It isn’t like most cops are all that smart either, but matched up against these morons they look like super geniuses.
Hey wait a minute, the BBC says they done build the pyramids!
Pyramids! Lion KANG!
Thanks for the post. We don’t often get to appreciate the superior intellects (“We wuz kangs ‘n’ sheet.”) of The Dark Race!
Brothers, you say? I see no particular likeness–yet, their blowholes DO seem simi-lar.
Geniuses. Why The Dark Race is not running the world is one of The Great Mysteries of our time.
Different last names, different daddies of course, neither has likely ever met the sperm donor that pumped-n-dumped in their mama.
If they didn’t catch them via the money transfer, they could have used cell phone data. Since at least one of them had his with him.
Yo yo yo, be sure to power down your fake Glock in a sock so dem poleece don’t catch you!
Is it just me, or do the mugs of these two geniuses look a bit like the hapless losers (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) from Home Alone, the colorized version? Darnell and Dontrell even sound like a comedy duo (or maybe synthetic fabrics, known in the state of California to cause cancer). Amos ‘n Andy, 2023 reboot.
I don’t suppose there is any point in asking why these “brothers” have different surnames. Twin sons of different (absent) fathers, undoubtedly. So wretchedly predictable.
The look on Dontrell’s face is priceless, I am not even sure what to call it but he looks vaguely confused and surprised.
Baby momma in the hospital asks for a phone directory. They bring her one, and she starts thumbing through it looking for names. A helpful nurse says they have a whole book of baby names if she would like to look at it.
“Dat be no gud. I already know dey first names.”
Zing!
Sentencing idea from “National Treasure”:
Oh, my personal favorite-and had their entrails cut out and BURNED!
Growing up in Northern Indiana, we often referred to Benton Harbor as “Benton Harlem”, due to the demographic makeup of the town.
Growing up in West Michigan, we called it Benton Compton.
I don’t think I have been there but it’s reputation is not positive.
See, this really was a MENSA move – they wanted to get *in* to prison for the free meals.
They are playing that 16D chess
It is pretty amazing how they planned this caper. Kidnapping at home and taking to the store showed a level of enterprise and forethought usually absent from such scholar-Americans.
Not so much planning as to stash the guns somewhere other than their apartment or to leave the damn things in the car overnight. I guess I expect too much.
Why we expect forethought—the conceptualization of possible consequences to one’s actions–from low-tech farm equipment, is beyond my limited ability to grasp.
What I do know–for over 50 years now–is that we should’ve picked our own goddamned cotton!
[Abraham Lincoln knew this all those years ago; his (sadly interrupted) plans included repatriating the freed slaves to Liberia and other similar nations. Lincoln knew even then that the races were immiscible].
Diversity + Proximity = War.
I don’t share your opinion about Lincoln. He may have or may have not repatriated negroes.
He set many precedents that the government abuses to this day. Example: suspending habeas corpus.
Black Morons they be.
Oy vey, deez scholar-americans have the dead eyes … every single fucking time.
Q. What is the longeat bridge in the world?
A. The Mackinac Bridge, it connects Finland and Africa.
Seriously, you can drive nearly due south from Paradise to Hell.
Mac Bridge joke is awesome!!
Also a way for trolls to ge to heaven. (Trolls live below the bridge).
More diversity shenanigans in ATL
https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/cobb-county/woman-angry-cobb-starbucks-line-smashes-other-customers-window-out-with-gun-police-say/TZH2WKOJGJBJLGGJPBAFXB2JTU/
Needed a laugh.
Fucking tards.