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This Is The Looter-American Name Of The Year (So Far)

What does a Looter-American mama do when she has her a new li’l baby future looter son and can’t decide between calling him Jonathan or naming his Shawn?

Name him both of course!

ISP: Colorado Murder Suspect Arrested in Posey County

POSEY COUNTY, Ind.–A man wanted for murder in Colorado was arrested Friday morning in Posey County.

An Indiana State Police trooper was patrolling I-64 and discovered a 2015 Nissan Pathfinder traveling at 86 mph. The trooper tried to stop the Pathfinder, but the driver sped away and went onto a county road.

The driver was identified as Shawnathan Deangelo Chance, 26, of Dunn, North Carolina. They say he reached speeds in excess of 90 mph before losing control, leaving the road, and landing in a field.

Shawnathan. I love that one. I also loved that some dude who was wanted for freaking murder was driving down an interstate at 86 mph instead of keeping it cool and driving a normal speed. Why not spray-paint “I’m wanted for murder, pull me over pigs!” on both sides of your car and maybe the top in case a chopper goes by. I have never been wanted for murder, or any crime for that matter, but one general rule of thumb if I was would be to not draw attention to myself when driving. See we got dem intrawebz and sheeit, so dey cops in Indiana can talk wif dey cops in Colorado.

Criminals be stupid but even by criminal standards Shawnathan seems to be exceptionally dumb but you can write it down now, he won’t be the dumbest criminal of 2023. Probably not even in the top 1000.


  1. MN Steel

    Lives in North Carolina, murders in Colorado, gets pulled over for speeding in Indiana.

    If he’s not a drug dealer or hired hit-man, sure would be hard to come up with the gas money for a transcontinental random killing.

    • Arthur Sido

      I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that he was heading home from Colorado to lay low in North Carolina and like many people assumed no one lives in the intervening states.

  2. Jeffrey Zoar

    I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the only person who sees speed limit signs. I deduce this from the fact, yes fact, that when the speed limit reduces, I’m the only one to slow down, and the other cars who were keeping pace with me blow by me. Every time. For many years. When the speed limit increases the reverse happens, I speed up and leave behind the other cars who, once again, are apparently blind to the signs.

      • Greg

        I try to pull over to let the speeders by. I don’t begrudge them, it’s “please do. Screen for cops ahead of me.” Or the old Harley bumper sticker: “Speed on brother. Hell ain’t half full yet!”
        We’ve had it from the local staties that “eight you’re great, nine you’re mine!” So if it’s posted 65, I set the cruise control to 72.

    • Gryphon

      I don’t own a Vehicle that is safely capable of doing over 60. All surplus Militaries, that I only very rarely take on to an I-Road (for short distances). All of my local driving is on Secondary or Rural Roads, and it’s Incredible (and nerve-racking) to see how people with outright High-Performance Cars (BMW’s, Audis, etc. will Crowd a 35,000-pound Truck that’s doing the Speed Limit of 45 on a back road, UNTIL THEY TRY TO PASS!

      I fully intend to Stencil the Outline of the first one that Crashes, on the door….

  3. Duke Cooter

    Shitavious was captured in OH a few years back with a name winner of the www status.
    Commierado? You put your weed in it, dude. OMG, I’m like seeing in 3-D.
    Murder is just undocumented reparations in the new West South Africa.

  4. Razorback

    Isn’t 26 a tad old to be wandering free of the prison population, especially if your métier is murder? Where this cretin likely hails from, he’d be considered a wise elder for evading substantial incarceration by that age. No surprise about the magical thinking that he can outrun a trooper, though, given the negro penchant for overestimating dey bad selfs.

    Well, Shawnathon “Dead Eyes” Chance, looks like you took yours and lost. See you in about 8 years, if the murder conviction sticks.

  5. Danny

    We are supposed to have compassion for this kind of “person” and understand the difficult circumstances that have challenged his life. Really?

    Savages roaming about in society is a problem. Not something to be “understood” but rather something to be terminated.

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