It is not when I have a baby, but that I have one, and more, which is of supreme importance to me. I have always been extremely fond of the definition of Death which says it is: Inaccessibility to Experience, a Jamesian view, but so good. And for a woman to be deprived of the Great Experience her body is formed to partake of, to nourish, is a great and wasting Death. After all, a man need physically do no more than have the usual intercourse to become a father. A woman has 9 months of becoming something other than herself, of separating from this otherness, of feeding it and being a source of milk and honey to it. To be deprived of this is a death indeed. And to consummate love by bearing the child of the loved one is far profounder than any orgasm or intellectual rapport.
I especially like this line:
A woman has 9 months of becoming something other than herself
What a fascinating and accurate way of describing the process of becoming a mother. As an outside but many time observer of the process, it rings true to me. When a man and a woman are wed, they ought to cease to be two distinct entities and instead become something new. My wife and I are "Arthur and Eva", a term that people use to describe a single thing, a couple who are one. When a man and woman are expecting a child together, especially that first one, something changes again. The woman turns inward to the growing child and her world expands from herself and her husband to include the child. For the man, it is something different. It is not uncommon to feel some jealousy as your wife embraces this new life the two of you have created and then after the child is born to have a different sort of jealousy at the relationship between the mother and child that you can't ever know.
Men are formed to protect and provide but a woman's very body is designed to be a vessel to bring new human life into existence. At the moment of conception the child is 50/50 from her father and mother but that only lasts for the briefest of moments as each child grows inside her mother, being protected and sustained by her mother's body. It is what women are made for and that is true even though some women are incapable of having children.
In allowing our women to be led astray and to forget their very nature is a horrible error on the part of men and we all pay for it. For those who have perpetrated this abomination there is no room for forgiveness. Only a reckoning, long overdue.
Without mothers there is no family and without family there is no future.
Happy Mother's Day.