Sunday, October 17, 2021

The Zany Adventures Of Ja'Frodo and Samquandrillo

It just never stops...


Expect some trannies or at least some faggy elves or plus Strong Diverse Female Warriors that slaughter males twice their size. What exactly does one call a black Hobbit? I think I settled on Noggit. Better start locking the doors in Hobbiton, things are about to get freaky.


There isn't necessarily anything that would preclude there being Noggits in Middle Earth. Sure it was written from a Eurocentric point of view, with the "South" being full of exotic and often dangerous people like the Haradrim who ride "Oliphaunts" and sound very much like Indian or Arab people as Tolkien would have known them. And the Shire itself is clearly an idealized version of the rural English countryside. I can't imagine Tolkien envisioning Hobbits as anything but short Europeans, the idea of having them be black for purposes of "representation" would have been baffling to him. It simply is unnecessary, obvious and juvenile. 

An unpopular opinion I hold is that Tolkien was a much better world builder than story teller. The world he created that you only see small pieces of in the LOTR movies and books is part of an enormous world. The guy created freaking languages for crying out loud. His world is so complex that even as someone who has read his main books repeatedly, I still only have scratched the surface.

Now imagine a team of the best African writers you could assemble. Give them all the resources they need to create full time and give them a decade to do it. Would they be able to build a world like Middle Earth?

Come on.

Just clumsy imitation and no one who is a fan of Tolkien's work will watch, leaving us with yet another visually appealing spectacle that lacks even a smidgen of substance.

5 comments:

  1. Never was a fan of blackened shrimps.

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  2. To show how badly this is going to go, I heard that they have hired a "nudity" coordinator for the sex scenes.

    In Tolkien.

    I'm thinking I won't be a fan . . .

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    Replies
    1. They think the Game of Thrones formula will work with LOTR but it won't. Very different worlds which makes me assume that the writers never read Tolkien.

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  3. In a hole in the ground there lived a Noggit. This was not a damp, oozing hole filled with the ends of worms, nor a dry, sandy hole, plain, with the ends of tree roots.

    No, this was a Noggit-hole and that means shit-hole. Filled with crime, drugs, prostitutes and corruption.

    But wait...What is a Noggit? I suppose that requires some explaining these days, when every effort is made to hide them from Normal Folks. A Noggit is a third-worlder who is too short for basketball and too dumb for politics.....

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